Are you happy?

It’s a simple question but the answer may be anything but simple.

After an unexpected divorce, a dear friend asked me what would make me happy in life. I didn’t even understand the question. My whole life I’d been told what would make me happy. Even my husband, before he left, said the words “We’re not happy” rather than “I’m not happy,” making an implicit demand that I should feel as unhappy as he was.1

When my friend asked the happiness question, though, I became curious. I was 28 years old. I’d lived a significant portion of life but still didn’t know how to make my own decisions. I wasn’t even sure where to begin. What would make me happy? I didn’t know, but it was in that moment that I began my quest for a “happy” life.

I am now 57 years old and, thus far, I’ve had a very happy life. I often say that I’m “lucky” but I also know that my “luck” got better when I started focusing on happiness as a goal. It turns out that we can “solve” for happiness.2

Another discovery I made along the way is that every day is not joyful. Joy and happiness are not equivalent. I can be happy without being joyful.3 I also found that there are many paths to happiness but the common thread is that one must be proactive and “work” towards being happy.

Although this blog’s primary focus is on how to be happier, there are many subjects which are only tangentially related to the subject and interesting to me so they may show up here, as well.

My search for happiness has led me to a variety of topics and my quest is sure to lead me to even more subjects in the future. Primrose Ponderings is a place for me to talk about what I’ve learned. There might be a nugget or two for you if you are also on this journey toward happiness. :)

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1

Even though I wasn’t unhappy in the marriage, it turns out that he was right about one thing: Our relationship had run its course and, in the end, we were both happier going our separate ways.

2

Math geek alert! I have an undergraduate degree in math. How they let me graduate with that is anybody’s guess.

3

By my definition of happiness. You are welcome to use your own definition, in which case you may find that you disagree with that statement.

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Finding happiness in everyday life