Choosing Gifts That Delight
Christmas is right around the corner and many of us are frantically thinking about what to buy for those we love. In this era of abundance and instant-everything, it can be a challenge to buy gifts for our loved ones who quite literally have everything they need and most things they want.
Is there a way to find gifts that inspire, delight, and bring joy?
Though I’m no expert on gifts (I get it right sometimes and miss other times), I have thought much about the subject because it gives me great joy when someone loves a gift I’ve given. The rest of this post will focus on lessons and tips I’ve learned over my many years of gift giving.
Know Your Audience
Something I learned from public speaking is my first tip about giving gifts: Know your audience.
Who is the recipient and what are their interests? For maximum joy, your gift needs to be tailored to that person. When you are choosing a gift for someone, think about what you know about him or her:
What do they talk about often?
What activities do they enjoy doing?
What have you seen bring joy to them?
What gifts that they received long ago do they still cherish and why?
Have they ever been delightfully surprised by a gift they wouldn’t buy for themselves? If so, why did that gift specifically delight them?
Once you have a gift idea, take a moment to consider whether it’s a good idea for the intended recipient or not.
Am I buying this because I think they will genuinely enjoy it or because *I* like it? If I believe that my loved one will enjoy this gift, what evidence do I have of that fact? Am I buying this because everyone else is buying it this year or do I truly think that my loved one will enjoy it also?
If you’re considering a larger gift, does the recipient have the space for it? If you’re considering something that isn’t used often (like Christmas decorations or lesser used kitchen gadgets), does the recipient have the space to store the item? Even beloved gifts might have to be disposed of because the recipient can’t reasonably store or manage it.
Last but not least, in the category of “is it right for them,” a trap to avoid is buying a gift that the person used to enjoy but no longer does. If Aunt Betty used to love Precious Moments figurines, are you sure that she still does?
Notice What You Might Not Ordinarily Notice
One of the common mistakes I see people make when buying gifts is that they buy something they like rather than something that the other person likes. It’s an easy mistake to make because we have to notice the gift ourselves first and we tend not to notice things that aren’t interesting to us.
Open your mind to notice things that you wouldn’t normally. If your husband always seems to slow down amidst the “guy” stuff at Costco, take a trip without him and see what he’s looking at. If your wife keeps talking about Hobby Lobby and all the great stuff they have there, consider shopping there for her gift.
Finally, you might want to try using a gift selector. (Many online stores have them built-in to their websites.) While you may not find exactly the right gift for the person, you will at least be exposed to ideas that you hadn’t considered — which could lead to another, even better idea.
Buy a Consumable
If you’re uncertain about what someone might enjoy, buy them something consumable. Consider gifts like candy, wine, or a Poinsettia1. If you’re really stuck, the thing doesn’t matter so much but making it something consumable relieves both you and the receiver of one awkward issue: Neither of you will expect them to own the item for more than a short time.
One of the issues with gifts is that we don’t know what to do with stuff we dislike. Some people are comfortable with the recipient returning their gift or regifting it, but even if you are OK with that, the receiver of your gift may not be. Sticking with a consumable means that you can both let any baggage around the gift go after a short period of time.
It Doesn’t Have To Be a Hallmark Moment
While it would be great if we always gave gifts that landed perfectly and made the recipient squeal2 with delight, the reality is that most gifts are not going to result in a Hallmark Christmas movie moment. Knowing this, it’s fine to lower our standards. Instead of trying to find perfect gifts, we can focus on “good enough” gifts.
Toward that end, here are more tips to consider:
Ask another loved one what the recipient might like. The gift doesn’t have to be a surprise to everyone.
Buy something off the person’s Amazon (or other store’s) wish list. No, it won’t be a surprise, but at least you’ll get credit for taking the time to look at their list!
Include a gift receipt so the recipient can return the gift if it doesn’t suit them.
Even if the gift you choose is questionable, you can go a long way to surprising and delighting the recipient if you take the time to wrap the gift nicely. That doesn’t mean you have to be a gift wrapping artiste, but at least buy a nice gift bag and add some accents to complete the presentation.
Does It Have to Be a Surprise?
Without explicitly saying so, I’ve implied that the gift needs to be a surprise, at least to the intended recipient. Is that a hard and fast rule?
No, it’s not a hard and fast rule, but you should consider the recipient’s preference. Some folks, like me, really enjoy the surprise aspect of gift gifting. In fact, I’d be mostly disappointed to know the contents of a gift before I open it. Because of my bias, I lean heavily toward ensuring that my gifts are surprises, at least for the recipient. But that’s not always the best course of action.
Even with my bias toward surprises, I’d rather have a gift that I can actually use and enjoy rather than getting a surprise that caused me to feel burdened by a gift in some way. (Examples of a “burden” might be storing it, caring for it, or guilt that accompanies wanting to dispose of the gift.)
Many years ago, I began maintaining a public Amazon Wish List so that my husband could choose something from it. Rather than stressing about gifts for me, he began buying something off the list and it eased the stress for both of us. His actual gift to me was that he took the time to buy something and that he wrapped it so I could enjoy the anticipation of having a gift(s) under the tree.
One of my own best practices is to update my wish list months before Christmas because if someone does buy me something off my list, I’ve often forgotten about it by the time I open their gift. When that happens, I can easily and honestly be delighted by the gift while having a moment of surprise until I remember that I was the one who chose it. :)
Don’t Sweat It Too Much!
My final and most important thought is, if you’re feeling stuck or stressed, don’t sweat it too much. We all get it wrong sometimes. OK, often! But, in the end, the point is to share love with the recipient through your gift. Even if the person hates your gift, if you present it with love, both you and the recipient can be delighted knowing that you cared enough to offer the gift and that they cared enough to pretend that they liked it. ;)
Be careful of plants as gifts, in general, however. Unless you know the person enjoys taking care of plants, the gift could be viewed as more of a burden than a joy. Also, never, never give someone a living being as a gift unless you are 110% sure they want it. Even though it may seem fun, never give puppies, kittens, or even guppies as surprise gifts!
We don’t all squeal with delight, so perhaps a grunt of “you didn’t blow it this time” might be the best you can hope for. ;)