Christmas Holiday Debrief
Christmas is over. Now what? Before you move on to the next thing in your life, take a few minutes to do a debrief on your holiday celebration.
When I worked a corporate job, we used the term “debrief” when we were reviewing a project to discover what went well and what we might want to change in the future. It’s a common practice in the business world, but have you ever thought about doing this in your personal life?
Most notably at the moment, have you ever considered doing a Christmas debrief?
It might sound weird or too complex for your liking, but I’ll try to make it simple and easy by walking you through it. But first you may be digging in your heels.
Why would I take the time and effort for a debrief in the first place?
Do you remember how you felt during the Christmas season this year? Did you have stress? Did you fear you wouldn’t complete your todo list in time? Did you feel that you weren’t fully experiencing the joy and wonder of the season?
If your Christmas and/or the weeks before weren’t as perfect as you’d hoped, how will you improve the outcome next year?
If you want next year’s Christmas to be better, you can increase your odds by reflecting on what went well and what didn’t. You then have the opportunity to consciously improve the outcome next year.1
But here’s the part that will be a challenge for most of us: With almost a year between now and the day we begin preparing for Christmas next time, we will have forgotten most of the lessons from this year’s experience unless we write it down. So, you can guess what I’m going to suggest you do:
Write it down. :)
There are just a few steps and this entire exercise should only take a short time to complete. So, grab a cup of coffee, tea, or leftover hot chocolate and let’s begin…
Steps to Debriefing Christmas
On a blank piece of paper, make a list of what went well this year. Your list might be short or it might be long. The length of your list doesn’t matter. What does matter is that you have captured what you liked so you can set the stage to repeat it next year. Just as in the Three Blessings exercise, you might want to add a note about why these items went well.
Starting with a second blank sheet of paper, list what didn’t go well. Leave space between each item for the next step. If you’re struggling with this list, think about the following: What fell flat? What would you like to change? What caused you stress, sadness, or disappointment?
For each item of what didn’t go well, write down why you think that was the case. If something comes to mind about how to make this better in the future, write that down, as well.
Put this document in a place that you will see next year before you begin your Christmas preparations. I always have one Christmas box marked “open me first” which contains the supplies I’ll need early on, such as Christmas cards. I plan to put my list in this box, right on top, so I can’t miss it next year. If you prefer to use a digital file, find a way to remind yourself to look at it; for example, put a note on your digital calendar for next November, October, or whenever you begin planning for Christmas.
Remember that “Christmas” is not only what happens on Christmas day. Anything you do to celebrate the season might make it on one of your lists. If you need a little inspiration, take a look at what showed up on my lists this year:
What Went Well
I finished all of my shopping and gift wrapping a full day before I needed to. (In my case, I was traveling for Christmas, so everything needed to be completed several days before Christmas.) This went well because I was focused on it and was diligent about working on it anytime I had a few minutes to do so.
I performed at every concert in which I was eligible to play/sing. (These concerts were joyful for me and were some of the highlights of my holiday.) This went well because I was determined to play at every concert and because I had mentally prepared myself for a busy performance schedule.
I managed to squeeze in social events that seemed unlikely due to my busy schedule. I did so by planning ahead and preparing myself for an unusually busy time. This went well because I didn’t succumb to the voice in my head that said, “It’s too much. You can’t do it.” I did it, anyway, and it wasn’t as draining as that voice in my head imagined.
What Didn’t Go Well and Why
For brevity’s sake, I won’t share details of my What Didn’t Go Well list, but I will summarize. Most of my items on this list could be pared down to a single statement: I didn’t start early enough.
In some cases, I needed to start only a week or so earlier, but if I had wanted a Hallmark movie experience, I could have started planning in July. I didn’t feel the need for an entire Hallmark experience, so a month or so would have been sufficient to make my holiday “perfect.”
It might be useful for me to point out that this part of the exercise held a surprise for me. Though I easily created my What Went Well list, I had some difficulty coming up with things that didn’t go well. My Christmas, I concluded, was nearly perfect and I didn’t have much I wanted to change. What a great problem to have, right?!? ;)
Can you imagine reflecting on the holidays and being able to say truthfully that it was a perfect season?
Until this year, I have never felt that my Christmas season was even close to perfect, so I took a beat to reflect on why I was so pleased with the outcome of my holidays this year. I realized that my nearly “perfect”2 Christmas was the result of 1) years of tweaking my holidays by self-reflecting on what I’d like to do better in the future, and 2) training my mind to focus on what went well rather than on what went “wrong.”
In other words, my years of doing what I suggest in this blog has produced surprisingly noticeable results for me. This is not the first time that I’ve noticed increases in my happiness; but, in this case, because I routinely reflect on the holidays, I was able to notice how dramatic my increase was compared to previous years. Of course, this brings me even more delight. :)
(Keep reading… there’s more below!)
OK, now it’s your turn. Write your lists and see what comes up for you. If you feel pressed for time, just do step #1 (what went well) because that is the most important step. Not only will noting what worked encourage you to do it again, but you will be able to relive the joy when you write the list and next year when you read the list. It’ll be a happiness win-win! :)
Doing this “homework” may not feel like much fun now, but your future self will thank you for taking the time to do it. You might be a Grinch or, like me, an Elf, but wherever you fall on the spectrum of Christmas cheer, you can improve your experience next year.
For those who have done things mostly to their liking this season, this is an opportunity to repeat your positive experience or to make next year’s Christmas even better!
I put “perfect” in quotes sometimes to remind you that the definition of perfect is subjective. You get to decide what perfect means. Even if your holiday was a disaster by other people’s judgement, you can still view it as perfect if you wish.