Embrace the Mess of the Holidays
A few weeks ago I got out the boxes that contain all of our Christmas wares and began the yearly ritual of decorating, writing Christmas cards, and wrapping presents. At one point, I had a pretty big mess. I didn’t have a spare room to contain the mess, so it started in the dining room, spilled into the living room, and even began invading my office.
I was anxious to finish the cards, decorating, and gift wrapping so I could clean up the significant mess. Even though I still had some gifts to wrap, I made time to clean up the mess so we could enjoy Christmas “properly.”
After I’d stored most of the mess out of sight, I felt better. My boyfriend and I are both Ladybugs, so we like having our stuff organized (ideally) or, at least, hidden in boxes or behind doors. Not seeing the mess anymore felt great!
But then something surprising happened…
One morning as I was lazily drinking my coffee, I saw the empty dining room table and I felt sad. I turned my head toward the living room and though it looked nice with its carefully placed decor, our nicely decorated tree, and presents underneath, the moment of sadness continued.
Wow, why was I sad?!? Shouldn’t I be delighted to have an uncluttered space again?
Well, yes, I did still appreciate that, but I had to dig a little deeper to discover where my sadness was originating from. It turned out that the moment of sadness was because I missed the mess. OK, just a little, but it was enough to surprise me and cause me to wonder why.
The mess I’d created was necessary because I didn’t have a space to hide it. But that’s how I grew up — in small homes where my mom had to do the same. When our house was a “mess,” it was because mom was in the midst of creating Christmas joy for us.
As I got older, I was able to help my mom create the Christmas joy and that’s how I became a Christmas elf of sorts, just like her. In my recent moment of sadness about the mess being absent, I realized that Christmas joy comes not only from Christmas day, but also from the preparation for Christmas day or Christmas Eve.1
I was not actually sad about the missing mess. I was sad at the thought that my “chores” for creating Christmas joy had come to an end. Fortunately, I still had more cards to write, presents to wrap, and decorations to display and when I realized that, the sadness faded. But it was an interesting, unexpected emotion that led me to this lesson:
Christmas isn’t limited to one day of joy that arises after weeks of painful preparation. Christmas is about enjoying the journey of creating Christmas. Christmas morning (or Christmas Eve) is the destination, but there is a lot of joy to experience along the way, if one pays attention.
Not long after this revelation, I got the idea to sew tiny bags to which I would add holiday chocolates to give to a few of my friends. Previously, I might have come up with a different solution or I might have not given these friends these small tokens of joy at all because it required me to keep the mess longer. But this time was different.
I pulled out my boxes of sewing supplies, my machine, and some chocolates and created another big mess in the dining room. My joy heightened as I imagined sharing these simple, handmade gifts with my friends. I once again recaptured my joy of creating Christmas, but this time I embraced the mess.
I could clean up the mess any time I chose, but what’s the point of sitting in a clean house and staring at decorations when there is more joy to be made? In creating Christmas joy for others, I am also creating it for myself. No, I don’t plan to keep the mess around forever. I still enjoy my (mostly) tidy house! But at least now I’m able to view the mess with new, more enlightened eyes.
Our Christmas messes aren’t limited to our physical space and yours may be quite different from mine. We can also have mental and emotional messes which frequently come with the holiday territory. But sterile lives devoid of messes aren’t interesting lives and I’m learning that more and more as I grow older.
This Christmas I’m hoping to learn how to embrace the mess. Whether it’s house clutter or Christmas wrapping strewn everywhere or emotional issues with uncle Frank2, the mess is part of the journey.
Let’s enjoy our Christmas messes this year! :)
My family always opened presents on Christmas Eve, so I still feel like Christmas Eve is the more important day, even though my current family celebrates on Christmas day.
I don’t have an uncle Frank and I apologize to anyone who thinks I may be privy to their issues with their own uncle Frank. I know nothing. Your secrets are safe. ;)