How a Ratty Hotel Made Me Happier
Several weeks ago, my boyfriend Stephen and I stayed at a hotel that we euphemistically described as “suboptimal.” The building was dilapidated, the neighborhood didn’t feel entirely safe, and the hallways smelled like an old shoe. When we opened the door to our room, our first reaction was to leave and find another hotel. For some reason (possibly because we were tired and didn’t have a better idea), we decided to stay.
At first I struggled to feel comfortable in the Suboptimal Hotel. I did my best to keep a positive attitude, but when I couldn’t even get the ice machine to work, I was worried. I met a man on the elevator who told me that only the machine on the first floor worked. “I’m going to the first floor. I’ll show you where it is.”
As the elevator descended, the man and I began to chat. His name was Derek and he was staying at the hotel because he “needed some space away from his wife.” He was a local and by the familiarity he had with the front desk clerk, it seemed that either this wasn’t his first stay in this hotel or he’d been there for some time. In any case, his marital difficulties weren’t new, I suspected.
Derek’s demeanor spoke more loudly than his words. He was sad and angry. He seemed a bit lost. That he was willing to share his situation with me, a total stranger, was perhaps reflective of how badly he needed a sympathetic ear. Derek’s life was as suboptimal at that moment as was the hotel in which he was staying.
I offered to pray for Derek and he readily accepted my offer. “I can use all the prayers I can get!” he acknowledged.1 Before we parted, he gave me a big hug and said, “Thank you!” Both of our hearts were lightened by the connection we’d made in that brief moment.
Derek would never know it, but our encounter helped to increase my gratitude that day. In contrast to the emotional turmoil that I perceived him to have, my own emotions felt easy. The most difficult challenge I was facing was that my hotel room wasn’t up to the standards that I had arbitrarily set for myself.
After successfully retrieving a bucket of ice, I returned to my room with a different perspective. My hotel room seemed brighter and more cheerful than it did a few minutes before. It wasn’t perfect and, sure, I’d have liked to be staying in a nicer hotel, but our room was clean(-ish), the staff was polite, and everyone I’d met so far was friendly. Within a few hours, I had mostly adapted to my new surroundings and was enjoying a restful sleep.
I spent several days in the Suboptimal Hotel. With each day, I became more and more accustomed to it. By the time we left, I was quite comfortable with the hotel and decided that I might even stay there again someday if the need arose.
What the experience reminded me is that bad and good are subjective. When my attitude was that the Suboptimal Hotel was “beneath” me, my attitude was poor. I felt uncomfortable, unsafe, and discontent. Once I moved beyond feeling that I deserved better and stepped into gratitude, my perception of “good” and “bad” changed.
Where did my discomfort arise from? Was I truly unsafe? Was my discontentment a choice? If so, could I choose a more positive feeling?
I discovered anew that happiness is within my control. I was unskilled at choosing happiness in the Suboptimal Hotel, but my conversation with Derek moved me into a place of happiness. All I needed was to be open to seeing the blessings that were already staring me in the face.
I still pray for Derek from time to time. Even though I’ll never see him again, my hope is that Derek finds the peace he was seeking. If you believe in prayer, keep your eyes and heart open to find your own “Derek” who needs your prayers.