Peacefulness During Times of Unrest
Have the recent reports of violence in the Gaza Strip been upsetting to you? Perhaps this news, on the heels of the conflict between Russia and the Ukraine, have left you feeling worried about war arriving on our own shores.1 At the very least, the reports may make you uncomfortable and not sure how to take it in or how to respond.
War is upsetting — there’s no doubt about that — and listening to or watching reports about war-torn areas can be traumatic. When faced with traumatic images, we may feel the need to do something. Anything! How can we help?
With the Gaza conflict, I noticed that people immediately jumped on a bandwagon of “good” guys or “bad” guys. After reading an article or a few Tweets, they decided whom they should defend and whom they should vilify. The few folks who I noticed refusing to take a side were maligned and immediately put into the “bad guys” camp — sometimes by both camps.
I’ve spent some time pondering what I could or should do with regard to the reports of conflict, not only in Gaza, but all over the world. I’m not in any sort of influential position where I could stop the conflicts and I’m unlikely to alter anyone’s opinion about them. I could choose a side. But should I?
After a few hours spent reading reports from both sides of the Gaza conflict, I decided that my best course of action was to mostly ignore it. I stopped reading the news and social media. I didn’t choose a side. I proceeded with my life almost as if no conflict was happening at all.
Does that decision seem heartless, irrational, or even dangerous to you?
While I’m not advocating completely ignoring what is happening in the world, I am suggesting that perhaps we spend too much time focusing on what is happening in the greater world and not enough time focusing on our own little corner of it. In my case, saying “no” to choosing a side in the conflict allowed me to say “yes” to making my little corner of the world even more peaceful.
For the past week, the weather in Austin (Texas, USA) has been perfect. I’ve been able to go for long walks without coming home drenched in sweat for the first time in five months. I’ve watched kids learning to ride bikes and dogs trying to chase squirrels. I’ve seen new (to me) varieties of wildflowers and I enjoyed seeing a stream overflowing with turtles and fish.
In my own backyard, I’ve been cultivating my fall garden by planting some cold weather veggies and harvesting the abundant basil (five types!) that currently grows effortlessly in my main garden. I’ve started some herbs from seed and have been relocating marigolds that have popped up from a too-successful experiment in harvesting and planting seeds from plants earlier in the summer.
As I write this, I’m sitting outside beside a fig tree, one that has been growing in my yard for the past three years. To my right is a ghost pepper that somehow survived nearly three months of temps over 100 degrees most days and is now joyfully displaying his first two blooms that I hope will become delightfully spicy peppers.
My bare feet are planted on the ground and since it’s a weekday, my neighborhood is quiet as most folks are at work. I can scarcely overstate the peacefulness I feel in this current moment. I don’t feel like I have a care in the world. And the longer I sit here in my private paradise, the more I feel joy and gratitude for this moment and for the peace that I am able to feel.
Does my choice seem reckless? In this peaceful moment, I’m not concerned about the conflicts going on around me. I haven’t given a thought to the innocent people being slaughtered around the world today. Does that make me selfish, clueless, or even a “bad” person?
You can make your own judgement about my decision, but here’s my perspective: In a few hours, I’m going out into the greater world (in my case, to choir rehearsal) and I will be interacting with a hundred or so people, many of whom have been watching the news, arguing on social media, and may be consumed by the enormity of the unrest in the world. What will I have to give them that will bring them even a fraction of the peacefulness that I’ve felt today?
My anger won’t bring them peace. My choosing a side won’t bring them peace. Even my agreeing with their stance (whatever it is) won’t bring them peace. But what might bring them some peace is a kind word, a listening ear, or a smile.
Deciding to make the world a better place might entail fighting at times. But we must carefully choose our battles. When it comes to battles that are oceans away, I’m not so sure that using our emotional currency to engage in verbal scuffles is the best use of our time and energy. I’ve spent a lot of energy that way in the past but the return on my investment felt modest.
The conflicts that have been emerging so relentlessly, especially over the past few years, have compelled me to search for a more effective way to improve life on this planet. For now, I’m convinced that the most effective approach is to bring peace to the world by bringing peace to myself first.
Primrose Ponderings was founded on the premise that learning how to be happier2 helps the entire world. Each of us brings help to a hurting world when we learn how to heal our own pain, to practice the science of happiness and well-being, and to build a new way forward — one that increases the frequency of our positive emotions, regardless of the conflicts around us.
Unfortunately, in our lifetimes, conflict and war will likely always be a part of the human experience. While we can and should want change and should dream of peace, we must also avoid the trap of constantly choosing a side and adding to the pool of hatred. If you find yourself getting wrapped up in news of war and conflict, try taking time out to explore your own peacefulness instead.
If you’re up for the challenge, what would your version of my walks and backyard garden be? What could you do to find peace in this moment… peace that would propel you to make others feel better simply by being in the midst of your positive energy?
Our world needs more peacemakers and, fortunately, each of us has the ability to spread peace by first experiencing peace in our own hearts. If you want to seek out conflict, the media will be more than happy to engage you. But if you’re tired of being cajoled into taking sides in every conflict, it might be time to seek out the peace that resides inside your heart in every moment, silently waiting for you to awaken to it.
I live in the United States, so when I say “our shores” I’m specifically referring to the U.S., but the ideas here apply, no matter where you live.
Today I’ve chosen “peacefulness” as the emotion that embodies my happiness, but on another day, it might be joy, levity, or thankfulness that fills my happiness bill.