Removing Complaints From Your Life
When I started my own happiness journey, one of the first exercises I tried was going complaint-free for 21 days. The idea came to me by way of a book by Will Bowen called “A Complaint Free World.”
The basic concept is simple: Don’t complain for 21 days. For the implementation, Mr. Bowen constructed a system whereby a participant wears a wristband. If he or she complains, the wristband has to be moved to the other wrist. When the wristband stays on the same wrist for 21 days you’ve succeeded!1
Mr. Bowen claims that it took him a year and a half to complete 21 days without complaining. It’s been estimated that it takes the average person 4-8 months to complete the challenge. How long did it take me, you might be wondering? Well, to be totally honest, I have never completed the challenge!
I have tried several times to complete the complaint-free challenge but each time, I gave up after weeks or months of increasing frustration. Apparently, I really like to complain! :) Eventually, I gave up altogether and haven’t tried the challenge again.
Why You Should Try It
Since I haven’t completed the challenge myself, why would I suggest that you try it?
My first reason is because you might succeed! What would it feel like if you eliminated all complaining from your life? What could you achieve without the drag of negativity? What kind of friends would you attract into your life when you become more positive in your speech? You can’t know all of the benefits until you achieve it!
More importantly, though, you’ll likely experience benefits from the exercise whether you actually complete it or not. In my own case, I never thought of myself as a complainer, but when I began noticing my complaints, I saw how addicted I was to complaining.
Even though I never finished the challenge, the awareness that I achieved by just attempting it has stayed with me (to some degree) for a decade. Even though I do still complain, I’m a lot more aware now when I do so. I can sense the negativity in my body more fully after having forced myself to observe how often I complain. Awareness is the key and it has been through this awareness that I’ve been able to curtail some of my complaining (and every little bit helps!).
Finally, I brought this to your attention to be frank with you about my own journey. I’m not perfect! I have flaws. I complain. I get sad. I have bad days. I don’t succeed at every happiness exercise I attempt. I can be downright nasty and horrible to deal with at times. But none of that stops me from trying to be a happier, healthier, and more hopeful person. This happiness journey is one that is always worth taking, even when we fail miserably at it.
Does the complaint-free challenge seem like something you’d like to try? If so, give it a go! You’ve got little to lose and much to gain by trying. The complaint-free challenge is a fun one to take on with a friend or family member, if having a buddy appeals to you.
If the complaint-free challenge doesn’t feel “right” to you at this moment, put it aside. Maybe you’ll come back to it another time, or maybe you won’t. Let your intuition be your guide.
Whether you choose to take on this challenge or not, there are lots more ideas coming for how to bring increased happiness and wellness into your life. Just be sure to subscribe and to read Primrose Ponderings regularly so you can take advantage of the ideas that resonate with you!
21 days isn’t an arbitrary number. It’s the number of days that some claim it takes to create a new habit, based on a study by Maxwell Maltz. What Dr. Maltz actually discovered is that it takes a minimum of 21 days to change a habit, but that most people need more time than that — and often much time.
The 21 days timeline is actually a myth that has been perpetuated over time, so if you undertake this challenge, be aware that you will probably need much more than 21 days to achieve it.