Saying Good-bye to "Stuff"
Have you ever done a purge of “stuff”?
Perhaps when you were moving to a new house or downsizing or making space for someone else in your home? Maybe it was just a matter of realizing that you have a lot of stuff that you don’t need anymore? Maybe, like me, you just enjoy getting rid of stuff that no longer serves you.
I’m currently doing a purge of stuff in my home. I’ve done several purges in the past (the largest when I moved from Virginia to Texas a decade ago), so this is not unexplored territory for me. But what is different for me this time is that I am also exploring my emotional terrain as I say good-bye to this “stuff.”
To be quite frank, I think purging stuff always comes with some emotional baggage, whether we realize it or not. Have you ever kept something that was worn out, not useful, or just plain ugly and couldn’t figure out why?
I’m not talking about something sentimental or something that has a clear purpose beyond just its utility. I’m talking about that ugly shirt that you’ve never liked, the books you have no interest in ever reading (again?), or those dried up art supplies that you always thought you were going to use, but never did.
There are reasons behind our clinging to things and sometimes we understand why, but sometimes it is a mystery. Ideally, if we had the time and energy, we could work through all of the emotional hurdles that keep us tied to stuff that no longer — or perhaps never did — serve us. By clearing our emotions, we would find that we can easily let go of what we don’t need.
But ain’t nobody got time for that, right?!? ;)
If you’re pressed for time (aren’t we all?) or don’t even know where to begin, how can we make choices which are fruitful and result in a lighter load without us regretting that we threw away or gave away something we needed or “should have” kept?
There are many books on the subject and I highly recommend books by Elaine St. James. Her signature book “Simplify Your Life” changed the way I view the stuff in my life and helped me to discern between what is truly important to me and what I was hanging on to for suboptimal reasons.
Many people have found “the life-changing magic of tidying up” by marie kondo to be helpful. It wasn’t as helpful to me as were the St. James books, but I had also done a fair amount of decluttering before I read it and that might have been a factor in it not being as useful to me.
I’m sure there are many other helpful sources of information out there. Seek them out if you feel that might help you in your own decluttering journey.
As I embark on this latest journey, my focus is more clear than it has been compared to previous times. I’m older, wiser, and am aware more than ever of how limited my remaining days on this earth are. My focus is on maximizing my joy for the brief time that will be the rest of my life.
Toward that end, there are several points and questions which I am considering as I undertake this process. Underlying all of them is a single, critical question:
What is most important to me right now?
My answer may be one thing or it may be a few things, but it cannot be ten things. If my list is long, I have to prioritize so that I am focusing on only a few at any given time. When I list the “things” of my life that are important, the list (in no particular order) is clumsier than I would prefer:
Family and friends
Making music
Primrose Ponderings and self-reflection
Meisha (my cat) and the feral cats I’m caring for
Gardening and house plants
Serving hurting families through hospice
Improving the aesthetics of my home and yard
Spirituality, God, and my connection to the Universe
Creativity (e.g., music, arts and crafts, writing)
Health and healing
That’s a lot to manage!
But I realized that if I take a step back, look at the trajectory of my life over the past few years, and try to put a word or two to what I am currently focusing on, I can pare this substantial list down to just a few words:
HARMONY
HEALING
HAPPINESS
Having this more manageable list, I can then view my stuff through this lens. For the physical stuff I have in my house, I can ask myself this straightforward (but not always easy-to-answer) question:
Will this thing support me on my journey of bringing more HARMONY, HEALING, and HAPPINESS to myself and to others?
If the answer is a clear “yes,” the item stays. If the answer is a clear “no,” the item goes. For everything in between (those are the hard ones!), I must make a decision, but if I am really stuck, I can temporarily defer it until I have more clarity. I can choose to do nothing for now or, better, I can put it in a box with directions or a list of items inside1, to be dealt with at another time.
I have a lot of stuff that I’ve been deferring for a few years, but as I keep asking the question “Will this support me on my current journey?” I’m finding that I’m willing to let more and more of it go.
Being ultra-focused on what we want out of life and where we are going is key if we are to declutter our lives. Unfortunately for most of us, the outside world redirects us in ways that make us believe that we need more physical stuff than we actually do.
When we take inward journeys to determine our true focus, we will be able to gain more clarity about our stuff and we will have less angst about letting go of what no longer serves us.
What “stuff” do you need to dispose of today?
The label or directions you put on the box only have to make sense to you. I’ve written things as simple as “Toastmasters” and as complex as “Impractical Stuff That Brings Tina Joy” with a complete list of everything inside. :)