What's Great About YOU?
The other day I thought of a fun Table Topics question that was surprisingly difficult for me to answer. The question was simple, but caused me to struggle:
What is your favorite thing about you?
Take a few minutes to answer this question yourself before reading the rest of my post. I’ll wait… ;)
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I struggled with this question not because I couldn’t think of anything, but because I had decided to limit my answer to just one thing.
As I pondered my answers, what came to me was sometimes unexpected, but always delightful:
I smile a lot :)
I’m an observer of myself and of the world around me
I know how to (mostly) quiet my own disturbing thoughts
I’ve learned how to enjoy life’s simple pleasures
I love reading self-help books
I have blue eyes just like my father’s
I am persistent about things I really want from life
I am resilient when life throws me a curve ball
I know how to make and keep friends
I am intelligent
I honor my need to be creative
I no longer have a fixed mindset about myself and my abilities
I could go on, but neither of us have time for me to do so. ;)
What about you? Did you have difficulty answering the question? If so, why?
I expect that at least a few of you had difficulty because you couldn’t think of anything or because even when you did, the Little Voice in Your Head said, “Wow, you sure are full of yourself, aren’t you?!?”
That’s not necessarily a negative thought. After all, haven’t you met someone whom you wished would think that more often before they speak?!? ;)
For much of my life, I wouldn’t allow myself to think kindly of myself because I feared becoming one of those annoying people who think too highly of themselves. It wasn’t until I studied the psychology behind this behavior that I realized that the folks who were always bragging didn’t do so because they were confident. They did so because they were not confident.
I noticed that the folks were truly the most confident had a balanced view of themselves. They could see their own faults (at least some of them), but they were also willing to admit what they did well when asked. Their confidence was a huge factor in them being able to accept everything about themselves — even the good stuff.
I intentionally answered this question publicly so that I could see how I felt when I completed it. I’ll admit that a part of me worried that you’d think I was pretty arrogant by sharing my list. But I also realized that I needed to address those feelings within myself so that I could encourage you to do the same.
You don’t need to publicize your list and, in fact, I would advise against it.1 But creating the list and putting it in writing so you can see it is a way of honoring yourself and, hopefully, helping you to see what’s so great about you. :)
As we continue this journey of increasing our happiness, one of the practices we can undertake is routinely finding grace, gratitude, and joy about who we are. We may still wish to change things about ourselves (and that’s healthy), but eventually we need to be able to look clearly at ourselves and conclude “Wow, even with all my faults, there’s a lot that’s great about me!”
Unless, like me, you have a community that embraces finding the good in ourselves and applauds you rather than thinks you’re arrogant for loving and honoring yourself.