The Antidote to FOMO
How to handle a fear of missing out
Do you have FOMO?
The term FOMO means “fear of missing out” and it came into widespread use in the mid-2000’s. Patrick J. McGinnis, the man who popularized the term, described the phenomenon, which he saw in students at the Harvard Business School where he taught. McGinnis described the students’ need to seize every moment and attend every event in an anxious drive to not miss out on anything.
The rise of social media fueled FOMO for several reasons. When we see the fun things that other people are doing, it can make us feel that our lives are not as exciting as theirs. Social media gives us the opportunity to compare ourselves to others endlessly, which is something we cannot do if we have to talk to people individually to learn what is happening in their lives.
The fear of missing out isn’t limited to social media users, however. Even if you never use social media, you might still have a fear that you’re missing out on something.
But what’s so bad about FOMO? Shouldn’t we want to seize every moment? Shouldn’t we want to get the most we can out of life?
Yes! We should definitely try to seize every moment and live life to the fullest. The problem with FOMO is the anxiety aspect of it. If you really want to do the activity or attend the event and enjoy the people you’re doing it with, then that is not FOMO.
FOMO will lead you to do things that don’t bring actual joy, but only the hope of joy. It might even lead you to hang out with people that you don’t even like, just because you want to feel that you are a part of the “in” crowd. If you find yourself chasing activities, events, or people that leave you feeling empty afterward, it’s time to do some reflection to decide whether it’s time to make different decisions about how to spend your time.
Another way to look at it is that we cannot seize the moment if we don’t know what we want the moment to be. If we are flitting about, doing what everyone else is doing, without thinking about what would actually make us happy, then how can we ever find happiness in any moment?
If you have felt the pang of FOMO, that drive to do something just because you think you might regret it if you don’t, perhaps it’s time to slow down, take a breath, and consider another path.
As I’ve thought about this subject, I came up with a quick list of actions you can take when you fear that you might be missing out:
Remember that you cannot possibly do everything. You already ARE missing out on something. You just aren’t upset about that because you don’t know about it!
Focus on what is great about what routinely shows up in your life. What makes you feel happy? What makes you feel content? What things do you often list when writing your gratitudes?1
What activities do you enjoy doing? What makes you lose track of time when you’re doing it? What do you look back on fondly when you remember it later? DO MORE OF THAT! :)
I personally believe that the antidote to FOMO lies in constructing a life that feels right to you. Of course, we all have to do certain things we don’t enjoy doing, but too many of us don’t know how to construct a life that would feel good to us, even if we had all of the money and resources in the world to do so.
Take some time to think about your ideal life and then consider how you might get there. Be careful of thoughts that are actually other people’s ideas of what you should do with your life. What truly makes you happy and what doesn’t?
When you know what makes you truly happy and you embrace that, you will not fear missing out on anything. You will be living your best life, the one that brings satisfaction because it is a life uniquely designed to your own happiness specifications.
What?!? You don’t have a gratitude practice? You need to start one ASAP! There are plenty of articles here at Primrose Ponderings to get you started, but if you’re in a hurry, read “Using Gratitude for a Quick Win.”